Zim Corners the Market.
by Zomboy
Summary: Zim attempts to destroy the worlds ecnomy, but ends up a slave to it. Work In Progress.
1. The Formula for domination

Zim was looking through a microscope at a sample of the formula he was working on while Gir was watching TV.

"I love this show"

"Shh!"

"I want bacon!" Gir squealed.

"Quiet Gir! I need to concentrate."

"I want bacon!" 

"I said quiet!" Zim said angrily, "This formula is very delicate and your constant screeching with shatter the container."

Gir paused for a moment. Then, "So?"

"If the container breaks," Zim said, "we'll both _fry_!"

"Yay!"

"That's _bad _Gir! We'll fail our mission."

"Oh." He turned, "I'm gonna have a sandwich!"

"Just don't break anything."

"O.K.!" Gir went up into the house.

Zim continued working for awhile until he heard glass shattering. Zim spun around and shouted,

"Gir!"

The bubbling tank filled with more of the formula behind him exploded.


	2. Backup plans (Just in case)

Gir had a plate, a jar of mustard and two slices of bread laid out on the counter while he was cooking bacon on the stove.

"Sizzlin' bacon!"

The bacon finished and he put the two strips on one of the pieces of bread. He got a plate out of the cabinet, but dropped it and it shattered on the floor.

"Whoops"

He hear Zim shout, "Gir!" then there was an explosion and a plume of smoke shot up out of the toilet-transporter leading to the lab. The jar of mustard fell of the counter and broke at his feet. He looked down at his mustard covered feet, then up at Zim, who had used the toilet to get to the kitchen. Tears filled Girs eyes and he fell to his knees, crying, "Mustard, come back! Please come back mustard! Why'd you have to go?"

"Gir, shut up! You made me destroy months of invaluable research _and _my lab. Because of you my plan to conquer Earth will fail!"

"I want mustard!"

"For the tallest's sake, there's an extra container in the back of the cooling unit, Gir!"

Gir gasped, "What?" He ran over to the refrigerator, threw the door open and pulled out another jar of mustard.

"Mustard! You're back! I knew you'd come back!"

Zim began beating his head against the wall when Gir began to dance with the mustard. Zim walked over and kicked the mustard out of Girs hands.

"Where'd mustard go?"

"You're coming with me, Gir. My super energy formula may be lost but the microbes I've been growing on the bacon should be enough to at least eliminate the Dib human."

"Um I cooked the bacon."

"Gir!"


	3. Resupply

Zim was walking to the store to buy more bacon, grumbling about destroyed labs, ruined plans, etc. He walked into the store and to the cold food at the back. He grabbed a pack of bacon and backed into Dib. They both turned and saw each other.

"Agghhh!"

"Agghhh!"

"What are you doing here, you worm boy?"

Dib held up the jug of milk he was carrying. "Getting milk."

"Milk? Is this some super weapon you humans use against aliens."

"Um No. We drink it."

"I don't believe it gives you super powers!"

"I never said it does."

"Oh. Well then, carry on."

"Why are _you _here?"

"Bacon."

"For one of your diabolical schemes to destroy man kind?" 

"You'll never know!" Zim walked off laughing.

"I find out sooner or later, Zim. I'll find out!" He looked down and saw a baby drooling and looking up at him.

"What are you staring at?"


	4. Victory, or something close to it

"Gir would you please _stop dancing_!"

Gir, who had been hopping around, stopped.

"So annoying"

The turned onto the walkway leading up to the house- And let out a scream.

"The base! What happened?"

The entire building was cover with a thick, oozing green slime that glowed faintly. Zim let Gir's leash fall from his hands and fell to his knees.

"The base No!"

Gir ran up to the slime and as soon as he touched it a bolt of electricity arced from the antenna on his head to the street light. The light exploded, the same as Gir's head.

Zim stared in shock. Then he pulled out an analyzer and walked over to the slimy green mass. He stuck the analyzer pad in the goo and a million volts of electricity coursed though his body. After a few moments the analyzer exploded and Zim flew against the fence. His alien physiology prevented his death but it was still painful.

He slowly pulled himself up to stare at the supercharged slime. Suddenly he began to laugh.

"My formula! I win! I win! Wait I'm going to win! I'm going to win! Yes! In your face, stinking Earth!"


	5. Heading back East

Zim was sitting on the couch with the phone to his Ear, or whatever he uses instead, while the phone range.

There was a click and a voice.

"US Patent Office."

"I would like to get a patient."

"You have to visit in person with your invention. Also, it's called a patent, not patient."

"Whatever. So, when can you send me my patient?"

"It's a patent and you have to come in person."

"Fine! I you won't send it to me, I'll go over there and take it from you!"

"That's what you're supposed-" Zim hung up.

"Gir! Get out here. Were going on a trip."

Gir shot out of the toilet on a snowboard. He did a back flip in the air and landed. "We're doing what to who?"

"Pay attention! We have to get to the US Patent Office. Go get me a map." Zim sat back on the couch while Gir looked around. After some time he brought one back, but

"Gir."

Gir's eyes turned red and he saluted. "Yes, Master!"

"This," Zim held up the map. "is a map of Happy Land."

Gir gasped, "We're going to Happy Land?!?"

"Gir! Find me a _real _map."

"Okay!" He came back with a map of Urk.

"Rrraagh! I'll find it myself!"


	6. Almost there...

"Alright, Gir. I couldn't find US Patent Office on the map but it was in the travel guide. Now we have to go to New Yurk City."

"Happy Land!"

"No Gir!"

After travelling to the airport and on a plane to New 'Yurk' they finally ended up in front of the Patent Office.

"Ahh The US Patent Office Now to take what is rightfully mine!"

He walked in. He left an hour later, one patent richer.

"Hahaha!"

He tried to buy another plane ticket, but had no more money.

"Gir, we have to find a way to get back home."

Gir began jumping up and down. "I know, I know!"

"You do?"

Gir grabbed Zim, put him on his back and flew of on his jet legs.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHH!!!" Zim screamed.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Gir squealed.

Somewhere in the Arizona desert they crashed.

Zim rubbed his head. "Ow."

Gir ran around laughing. "Let's do it again!"

"We're worse off now than before, Gir! Now how to fix this" Zim remembered the goo jar in his pocket. "Come here Gir. I have a plan."

Zim put some of the goo in Gir's engines.

"Alright Gir, homeward!" Gir shot into the air and they flew even faster than before.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHH!!!"

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"


	7. The first step

Zim stood at the front of the room, the Board of Directors for Southern California Edison sitting at the long table.

Zim gave a big false smile and said, "Greetings, filthy stink creatures. Useless Earth pleasantries past, I have a proposal. What would you say if I told you I had a formula that could make you all rich?"

"We're already rich. Why else would we charge so much for electricity?"

"Ooookay, ummm I can make you richer!"

The directors all whispered for a moment before the head (of the board), a man named George, said, "Can you give us a demonstration?"

"Of course." Zim pulled out a communicator and spoke into it. "Gir, bring in the demonstration."

"Yes master!"

Gir walked in pushing a big wall of light bulbs. Zim noticed that Girs' eyes were replaced with bulbs and that his eyes were where the lights had been. Zim suppressed his rage and returned the offending objects to their proper places.

"He is your demonstration." He put a jar full of green goo on the table and took off the top. He stuck the plug for the lights in the goo and the light bulbs turned on. The directors cried out at the searing light. Zim removed the plug and the light died.

"Do you dare doubt my power now?!?"

George folded his hands in front of him. "What is your proposal."

Zim smiled. "You give me all your stock. I promise that if you give me ownership of the company I will give you back several times the value of your percentage of the company with significant interest."

George though for a moment. "Alright, but I get to own half of the company with you. That way the Feds can't bust us for breaking any of their stupid laws. So, do we use this goo in the generators or something?"

"That is but one of it's many possible uses."


	8. Big ol' lasers

The elevator flew down forty stories while Gir stared at the floor indicator and Zim ranted.

"Filthy, disgusting, dirty humans! Having to bear being _nice _is almost impossible. It'll be a cold day in a volcano before I go through that again!"

The elevator stopped with a 'Ding'. Gir said, "Were here!"

Zim stomped out while Gir stood there.

"Gir! Come on."

Gir scurried out.

They walked out of the building and went home on the bus.

Back at home Zim was finishing his personal, underground nuclear reactor.

"Ahh, it's finished. Now-"

"It's upside down!" Gir said.

"What?! No it's n- Oh, wait it is."

He fixed it.

"Now, it's finished. By using the energy from the goo to power the world biggest flash light, I'll send a beam of light up, focus it with a giant magnifying lens and **blow something sky high**!"

He thought for a moment.

"Or, I could use this to seize power and RULE this filthy planet. Then, once I've reduced it to a spinning ball of polluted ash, I'll hollow it out and build an even _larger _laser inside, and give it to the tallest as a gift!"

"Oh, **yes** I'm good!"


	9. NY! Hit!

Zim was finishing constructing his flash light and magnifying glass. Gir was watching the monkey on the TV.

"I love this show…"

Zim, finished with the light and magnifying glass, paused and glared at the TV.

"That _monkey_…"

Gir laughed.

"Gir! Get over here."

"Okay."

"When I say so, press this button."

Gir reached for it and Zim slapped his hand.

"Not yet Gir! When I say so."

Gir's eyes changed and he saluted. "Yes, sir!"

Zim activated the reactor. The goo inside began to cause it to overload.

"Press it Gir!"

Gir did nothing.

"Press the button!"

"You said 'when I say so'."

"So! So! Press it before we blow up!"

"Wha?"

Zim ran over and pressed the button himself, just in time. The flash light activated and the light hit the glass, focused into a laser beam and shot into space.

The sensors said that the beam hadn't hit the moon, the intended test target.

The beam had hit a satellite, bounced off the solar panels and cut a wide path of destruction through New York.

"Another failure." 


End file.
